you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
