i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
