This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
