saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
