I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
