Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
