i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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