currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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