I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
