My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
