is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize