At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
