my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
