i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
