I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
