Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
