Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize