Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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