return my video game
one might say we're banned from that church
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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