i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she peed on how many people?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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