I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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