Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
