Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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