U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Screwed.edu
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
