Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
