Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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