and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
