you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
