and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
