I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
