I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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