R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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