There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
