I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
