He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize