when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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