He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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