Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have demons in me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
