So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
