I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
be right there i have to get my cape
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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