small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
