Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
