I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
