We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
