all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
