I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Every concussion has its silver lining
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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