dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
