I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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