So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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