She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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