I think i sorta joined a cult last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
