Me too!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
