my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
