you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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