this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
