My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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