sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
