His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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