Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
