so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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