let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
