Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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