My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
