Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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