dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
