he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
