i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
