so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
