Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I intend to get homeless drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
