One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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