We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
