She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
cat food counts as protein by the way
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
