i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
